Last Words
by Helgagurl46
Summary: Dear loved one, please listen, this might be the last chance I get, I'm sorry that I left you, I'm living in a world of regret"...one-chapter story


Okay, this is my first song-fic so be nice...lol. This song, Last Words by Thousand Foot Krutch really inspired me to write this, I hope y'all like it. You should also check out this cd because it's reallllyyyyy good. I must also warn you that points of view will be shifting frequently, I will be using ~*~*~*~*~ as a way to change the point of view...you may seem confused at first but you'll understand eventually... also, the song lyrics will be in italics...Enjoy...   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own HA! or Thousand Foot Krutch's Last Words...just an obsessed fan of both...;^)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They were dead...he couldn't believe it. After all the searching, the endless years of searching...the endless nights of wondering when he was going to find them, what they were like, why they didn't come back...they were gone. The sickness had been too much for them...the village people had said, they had tried to help the others, but in the end...it killed them.   
  
he screamed as he threw himself against the cot that was set up in his tent. The silence outside did nothing to help his state. He didn't understand it...he didn't understand how God could allow such a thing.  
  
Why God...why? he whispered through sobs. He pulled the pathetic lump of a pillow toward him and buried his head in it.   
  
He had wasted so much time...so much effort...so much.......hope. All his years of being the one...the one...the giving and caring one...only to have it blow up in his face. He had left the one he loved, for what? Nothing...nothing.  
  
What's the point...what's the point of living? he whispered into the pillow.   
  
What _was_ the point? His mind set, he got up from the cot and headed to where he had thrown his stuff earlier. Blindly moving junk around from the pile, his hand rested on the gun. The gun that was given to him to protect himself against wild animals out here. He chuckled, how ironic. Slowly resting the muzzle of the gun against his temple...he sighed and pulled the trigger.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Her eyes widened in disbelief. She dropped the mug of coffee she'd been holding and didn't flinch when it shattered on the wood floor. Did they really just say what she thought they said? Her mouth formed the words before she even knew what was happening.  
  
Yes, I understand...t-thank you, she placed the reciever in the cradle of the phone on the counter. She had no time to react as her roomate and roomate's fiance came through the door, laughing about something.   
  
Taking one look at the shattered mug on the floor and the terrified look on her friend's face, Phoebe ran to Helga, her fiance following close behind.  
  
Helga what happened, Helga! Phoebe shook her friend.  
  
Helga continued to stare blankly at the phone before she said anything. Finally, she managed to utter the words that she herself couldn't believe.   
  
He's dead.  
  
Pheobe's eyes widened, What, who's dead? Helga, what are you talking about?  
  
He found out...he found out about his parents...he found out that they died a long...a long time ago...he...he... Helga's face broke and she collapsed on the ground, nearly missing the chunks of glass from her broken mug.  
  
Gerald, who had before now been standing back to give her room, suddenly turned pale. Phoebe's eyes started to tear in realization as she bent down to embrace her friend.   
  
He sh-...he...he-he shot himself! Helga cried as tears poured from her eyes and sobs escaped her. Phoebe looked up to Gerald who was now green. He took one look at her and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Phoebe cried as she hugged her friend who began to rock back and forth. She listened for Gerald who was gagging behind the closed door of the bathroom. Phoebe looked back to Helga and realized she was whispering, He's gone...he's gone... he's.... gone...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
_No, please don't....please don't do that...please,_ he whispered as he looked on. He could barely bring himself to look at her...to look at any of them. He looked up at the ceiling...past the ceiling...past the clouds...past the sky. He nodded as a tear came to his eye.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
And as we're gathered here today, we will always remember him...as a good friend to all. And although our only wish would have been that he had stayed with us longer, his 21 years on earth will be remembered forever.  
  
As the pastor finished the ceremony, everyone placed a rose on the coffin. Helga, who was standing farther away then everyone else held her rose tighter to her. She looked around at all the familiar faces. To everyone she thought she'd never see again after highschool, and to those she knew very well. She looked at Phoebe who was comforting Gerald, his head hanging low. They were getting married in two months, and Helga knew that Gerald couldn't believe Arnold wasn't going to be his best man. She looked on at all her old classmates. Eugene and Sheena had recently gotten married and were huddled close together whispering. She saw Rhonda, wealthy, fabulous Rhonda, huddled close to Curly, tears smearing her mascara. She saw Harold, Stinky, and Sid standing in a group in silence. She looked on to see others she knew, Lila, Brainy, even Arnie. She saw their favorite teacher, Mr. Simmons, looking older than he ever had. She also saw the borders from the bordinghouse. Although Arnold's grandparents had died a couple years earlier, the borders had continued to live there with Arnold. Others that Helga didn't know or didn't know well, stood all around, giving their last respects. She watched as everyone started to leave, heading back to her and Phoebe's apartment for brunch, the light breeze blowing threw everyone's hair.  
  
Helga stood in the same spot until Phoebe walked over to ask her if she was coming.  
  
I'll be there in a little while Pheebs, I'll just take the bus when I'm ready.  
  
Phoebe nodded in understanding as Gerald walked over and placed his hand on Helga's shoulder. She looked up at him and a silent understanding passed between them. She saw him mouth I'm sorry and then wrap his arm around Phoebe. They both looked at her before walking back to the street to their car.  
  
Helga turned back around and came face to face with Lila, who looked at Helga with understanding eyes.  
  
I'm ever so sorry Helga, I know what you both meant to each other, she said quietly as she gave Helga a quick hug and then followed Phoebe and Gerald's path back to the street. Helga managed a quick smile at her before she left, _You just never know about some people..._ She watched her friends as they passed her, either saying how sorry they were, or just giving her an understanding look. They all knew what Arnold and Helga meant to each other. They had all found out long ago.  
  
When Helga saw that she was finally alone, she walked up to Arnold's coffin. Through tear-blurred eyes, she rested her rose on top. Gently running her hand along the wood, she closed her eyes and began to speak.  
  
I loved you...wasn't that enough? Why did you have to leave me...why?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tears flooded his eyes as he looked on. He listened as she continued to pour out her soul.   
  
I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough reason to stay here...I'm so sorry... he heard her say through sobs.  
  
He couldn't take it, he couldn't let her think that he didn't love her...he did. Regret and sorrow filled him as she continued to cry. He wanted...needed to tell her that he loved her...that it wasn't her fault. With tears rolling down his cheeks, he reached out and touched her shoulder.   
  
_Dear loved one  
Please listen  
This might be the last chance I'll get  
I'm sorry, I left you  
I'm living in a world of regret  
  
_He felt her shoulders heave up and down as she leaned against his coffin. He gently ran his fingers through her disheveled hair and leaned in closer to her.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Helga stopped sobbing as she felt the presense of someone behind her. She tensed as she felt the light touch to her hair. Quickly turning around she came face to face with nothing. No one was there...nobody.  
  
I could've sworn... she muttered under her breath as she looked around the empty cemetery. She pulled her jacket closer as the cool fall breeze shook the branches of the tree above her. She wiped away her tears as she took a deep breath. She couldn't explain it but she felt...better. Not completely better of course, but better none the less. She turned back to the coffin, kissed her fingers and then rested them against the wood.   
  
I love you, she whispered and then turned around to head back to her apartment.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Arnold's eyes widened when she had turned around. Now he watched her walk back up to the street.  
  
How come she could feel me? He looked down at his hands in wonder. He pondered this until, looking up past the clouds, he smiled, I understand.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Helga made her way through the brunch. Not really saying anything to anyone, just the polite, how are you? every once in a while when someone would approach her. She watched as everyone avoided asking her how she felt. She was just ending a conversation with Rhonda and trying to head to her room, when she came face to face with Arnie.  
  
Hey Helga, Arnie said quietly.  
  
Hey Arnie, Helga smiled softly, realizing what a change Arnold's cousin had gone through. Although he wasn't as attractive as Arnold, Helga thought, he had definetly improved in looks. Also, he wasn't snorting and he didn't have a blank stare. He looked pretty normal. Helga held back tears as she noticed his football-shaped head.  
  
I know you've probably heard this a lot today, but I just wanted to tell you I'm really sorry, Arnie said, honestly.  
  
Thanks Arnie, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for you too, he was _your_ cousin, Helga said, continuing to hold back her tears.  
  
Yeah, but I wish we could've gotten to know each other better, we weren't always the best of friends, Arnie said, sighing.  
  
I know, but he did feel awful about not seeing you as much anymore, Helga said, remembering a past conversation with Arnold.  
  
Yeah, well...I can tell you this...he really loved you.  
  
Helga's eye's teared as she heard this and looked at the floor.  
  
I'm sorry Helga, but I just wanted you to know, all he ever talked about was you...he really loved you...but I'm sure you knew that already, Arnie smiled softly, Anyway, I shouldn't of said anything...sorry Helga...I'm truly sorry. With that Arnie gave Helga a hug and headed back into the crowd of people.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Thanks Arnie, Arnold smiled as he watched his cousin walk back into the crowd. He turned back to Helga, who was still standing where Arnie had left her, one hand resting on the doorframe of her room. Taking a few steps toward her, he realized he was only inches away. Reaching out to touch her, _needing_ to touch her...she suddenly headed fully into her room, softly shutting the door behind her.   
  
He hesitated...maybe she really needed to be alone....but what was he thinking, she didn't even know he was there. Gliding through the closed door, he watched as she threw off her coat and boots and crawled into bed. He walked over to the wooden chair she kept in the corner and sat down. Tears came to his eyes once more as he watched her bury her head in her pillow and sob, her salty tears wetting the pillow.  
  
Helga....Helga I'm so sorry... he whispered as he watched her shoulders heave up and down.  
  
_Don't cry if you can hear me  
I never meant to hurt you dearly   
I'm so wrong, sincerly  
Don't stop, take life seriously  
  
_He looked over at her desk and noticed a piece of paper and a pen. He looked up towards the sky again and then back down at the paper. Picking up the pen in his hand and watching Helga succumb to sleep, he began to write._  
  
_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Look I'll be back quicker than you think, he tried to reassure as he looked into her unbelieving eyes.  
  
I know Arnold, but what if....what if you don't find what you're looking for? she asked, now staring at the airport's cheap carpet.  
_  
_You know I don't care what I find...I just...need to know. I need to find out anything I can, he grinned, And who knows, I may just come back with two extra people.  
  
She smiled at his optimism, always the positive one, I know....I'm just gonna...miss you, ya know?   
  
He grinned again, Well you sure didn't express these feelings when we were kids.  
  
She punched him lightly in the arm and grinned back, Don't be dumb, you know how I feel about you.  
  
I don't know, how _do_ you feel about me, now be honest! he said chuckling.  
  
She sighed sarcastically and pretended to pinch his cheek, You know I couldn't love your football-head any more than I do now.  
  
Now that's the answer I wanted to hear, he smiled softly as he pulled her close. She smiled back, tears coming to her eyes. His smile faded for a moment, I just wish I could've told Gerald and Phoebe goodbye this morning.  
  
You know they wanted to be here, but work wouldn't allow it. You said goodbye to them last night at least, she said, trying to reassure _him_ this time.  
  
He quickly turned back into his positive self, Yeah, I know. Don't forget to tell them that I promise to be back in time for the wedding, I'm not missing it for the world!  
  
You promise you'll be back soon? she asked again, wanting him to reassure her once more.  
  
He looked at her seriously, Helga, I could never leave you for too long.  
  
She smiled as she brushed her fingers along his face, Well that's good to know.  
  
_Flight 777 now boarding, _boomed the overhead speakers.  
  
You'd better get going, Helga said hesitantly.  
  
He continued to stare at her, I want you to know that I love you and promise we'll get married as soon as I get back.  
  
She forced a smile, I know...I know how important finding your parents is to you...  
  
_Flight 777 all rows now boarding._  
  
He looked at the line of people before turning back to her, Thanks for understanding. I gotta go, he said as he kissed her one last time. She watched him pick up his bag and give her a small wave as he headed to the line.  
  
Bye, I love you! she waved to him.  
  
Love you too, tell Gerald and Phoebe that I'm sorry I didn't get to see them today! And don't tell anyone about _our _wedding until I get back, I want it to be a suprise! he smiled back, and then disappeared from view.   
  
She stayed at the airport until his plane disappeared from view, already missing him, and not knowing that this might be the last time she would ever see him again.  
  
................................  
  
Helga sat up in her bed, breathing hard.  
  
_Why? Why did she have that dream....why did she have to re-live her last moment with him....the sadness... _she thought as she pushed her disheveled hair out of her face. She looked over at her digital clock and saw that it read 8:30 pm. She frowned as she realized she had slept the day away, and wondered why Phoebe hadn't woken her. The morning's events mixed with her dream from the past lingered in her thoughts. She wondered if she could be any more miserable.   
  
Pulling off the covers, she leaned her body over to step down on the rug she kept next to her bed.   
  
_Crinkle._  
  
She paused as her foot touched something unfamiliar. She looked down at her foot to see it covering a piece of paper. A piece of paper from her stationary kit on her desk. She frowned as she picked it up, wondering how it had gotten over here.  
  
She turned it over. With eyes wide, she read the words written in an unmistakable handwriting.  
  
_Dear loved one,_  
  
_Please listen   
This might be the last chance I'll get   
I'm sorry, that I left you   
I'm living in a world of regret   
Don't cry if you can hear me,   
I never meant to hurt you dearly   
I'm so wrong, sincerly   
Don't stop, take life seriously   
  
These are the last words,   
I'm ever gonna get to say to you   
When everything falls away from you,   
Take these words and know the world is not worth leaving   
  
There's so much I've done wrong  
Since I left it hit me so strong   
Take my hand and lets walk through,   
All the times I've lied and hurt you   
Those people, please love them  
Don't hate them, we're not above them   
You can have everything but have nothing  
Listen up, I've gotta tell you something.   
  
These are the last words,   
I'm ever gonna get to say to you   
When everything falls away from you,   
Take these words and know the world is not worth leaving  
Last words, I'll ever get to say to you  
So listen very carefully,  
To what I'm saying  
Life is more than just a game we're playing   
  
If there was ever one thing,   
I could ever get across to you   
I'd tell you not to say the things you do,   
And tell my friends that I love them too.   
No matter what life pulls you through,   
You've got what it takes to make it through   
And if I were you, I'd get on my knees and pray,   
Thank God in the morning for another day.   
  
These are the last words,   
I'm ever gonna get to say to you   
when everything falls away from you,   
take these words and know the world is not worth leaving  
So listen very carefully,  
To what I'm saying  
Life is more than just a game we're playing.  
  
Don't ever forget I love you,   
Arnold  
_  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Arnold watched as she read the letter, her tears continuing to stain the page. He needed her to know, to know that she had a good life ahead of her. She needed to be able to move on and know that he loved her and would always be watching out for her.   
  
Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't notice her look up at him. He looked back to see her eyes widen and mouth open. As startled as she was he took a step toward her as she stood up from the bed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
she asked softly. She was sure it was him. Although he was surrounded by a bright light, she couldn't mistake that football-head of his.  
  
She set the letter down and stood up to meet him. He looked back at her with sorrow-filled eyes. Before she knew what she was doing, she lunged at him and was suprised when she found him to be solid. Looking as suprised as she was, he pulled her closer to him, stroking her hair.  
  
Ar-Ar-Arnold, why did you have to...to-to leave me? she cried into his shoulder.  
  
Failing to hold back the tears that were building up, he pulled her back to look into her face, carressing her cheek. She held onto his hand, not wanting the feeling to go away. After what seemed like hours, he finally spoke.  
  
Don't cry Helga, please don't cry anymore.  
  
How can you say that, how...how can you say that! she almost screamed.  
  
Live your life, don't make the mistake that I did...don't be miserable...I don't want you to be miserable... he said as he continued to brush away the tears flowing from her eyes.  
  
You promised me....you promised me you'd come back... she cried.  
  
He couldn't take it anymore, his face broke, I know Helga, I know I did, and it's killing me...  
  
I loved you...I loved you...why, why did you do it?! she asked through sobs.  
  
I don't know....I honestly don't know...after I found out my parents were dead...I, I couldn't go on... he trailed off, ashamed, But I do know one thing...I will always love you...no matter where I am.  
  
Helga looked into his green eyes, the eyes she had looked into so many times. The ones she had thought she would marry one day...one day soon. She exhaled...letting out all the emotions that she had been carrying in all day. Letting him hold her, she slowly calmed down.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Arnold felt her settle down in his arms...he felt his own body become calm.   
  
_Come home..._  
  
He paused and leaned his ear to the sound. He looked up.  
  
_We're ready for you to come home, come home son..._  
  
He continued to look toward the sky, causing Helga to look up at him.  
  
It's time, isn't it, she said, wiping a tear away.  
  
He nodded.  
  
I don't want you to go, I don't want to be alone again, she said softly.  
  
He grinned that all-too-familiar grin and kissed her lips, But you never will be, I'll always be watching over you.  
  
She nodded in understanding, Tell your family for me.  
  
I will, he said as he walked over to the bed and picked up the note. He placed it in her hands and closed them.  
  
Read the words I wrote, and remember me everyday. I'll be watching you. I'll be waiting for you when it's your time, that I can promise.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She smiled as he held the note in her hand. She turned quickly as her door swung open fast. There stood Gerald and Phoebe.  
  
Helga, what's going- was all Phoebe managed to get out before she gasped.   
  
Helga looked from Arnold to her friends and smiled.   
  
Arnold smiled at Helga and walked over to Gerald. He put his hand up to do their legendary elementary school handshake and grinned as Gerald went through the motions as if nothing had changed.  
  
Bye man, Gerald said softly as Arnold reached out and hugged him.  
  
I'm sorry I couldn't be your best man, Arnold said.  
  
Gerald just nodded in understanding.  
  
Arnold then turned to Phoebe whose mouth was still ajar. He kissed her cheek and she hugged him back.   
  
They all watched as Arnold stepped back, standing just underneath a glow of light coming from the ceiling...past the ceiling.  
  
Helga walked over to stand on Gerald's left as he put an arm around her and Phoebe. They all waved silently as Arnold smiled back and quickly disappeared.  
  
They stood in silence until Helga remembered the letter in her hand. She unfolded it and passed it to Gerald and Phoebe who smiled in silence. They knew he was in a better place.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
_  
2-months later...._  
  
I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.  
  
Everyone cheered as Gerald picked up Phoebe and kissed her.  
  
Helga smiled and clapped from Phoebe's left.  
  
As Gerald and Phoebe hurried back down the aisle to the front of the church, Helga followed close behind with the other bridesmaids. She watched as everyone threw birdseed and Phoebe threw the bouquet. Jumping as high as she could, she managed to catch it before Rhonda, Lila, or Sheena could. She waved with everyone else as Phoebe and Gerald jumped in the limo and sped down the street, proclaiming the words, JUST MARRIED on the back.  
  
As Helga watched everyone head off to the reception, she slowly made her way to her own car, not wanting to rush the moment of silence she was finally able to catch. She was walking down the front steps when she noticed someone leaning under the tree on her right. Curious as to who hadn't left yet, she made her way over to the tree.   
  
It was really beautiful, wasn't it? he asked, smiling.  
  
Yes, it really was...it would've been better if you could've been here though, she said smiling back.  
  
I was Helga...I was, he grinned as he blew her a kiss and faded from sight.  
  
She blew him a kiss back and headed to her car. Touching the letter that she kept next to her heart, she smiled, she knew she would see him again someday. He was waiting for her.  
  
_Dear loved one_,  
_Please listen   
This might be the last chance I'll get   
I'm sorry, that I left you   
I'm living in a world of regret   
Don't cry if you can hear me,   
I never meant to hurt you dearly   
I'm so wrong, sincerly   
Don't stop, take life seriously   
  
These are the last words,   
I'm ever gonna get to say to you   
When everything falls away from you,   
Take these words and know the world is not worth leaving   
  
There's so much I've done wrong  
Since I left it hit me so strong   
Take my hand and lets walk through,   
All the times I've lied and hurt you   
Those people, please love them  
Don't hate them, we're not above them   
You can have everything but have nothing  
Listen up, I've gotta tell you something.   
  
These are the last words,   
I'm ever gonna get to say to you   
When everything falls away from you,   
Take these words and know the world is not worth leaving  
Last words, I'll ever get to say to you  
So listen very carefully,  
To what I'm saying  
Life is more than just a game we're playing   
  
If there was ever one thing,   
I could ever get across to you   
I'd tell you not to say the things you do,   
And tell my friends that I love them too.   
No matter what life pulls you through,   
You've got what it takes to make it through   
And if I were you, I'd get on my knees and pray,   
Thank God in the morning for another day.   
  
_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okay, I've never written a story that sad before, although I thought it had a somewhat happy ending...anyway, I'm really proud of it...so, yeah, I'd really appreciate some feedback...thanx guys...;^)  
  



End file.
